Skyway Avenue

Wednesday, August 12, 2009, 7:11 AM

>< People say not to dwell in the past coz' it has passed and will never come again but, oh boy, do I wish I could do it again and again. It's not that I want to keep reliving my past life, I know I should expect something new and entirely different from what I had before. I can't deny that I'm scared, "what if the future isn't as good as the past?" Normally, I would choose the time where I felt best. I know a lot of answers to my questions but, as usual, I'm being stubborn in facing the truth, reality scares me. Dwelling in past could ruin the betterment of my experiences in the future. I should be grateful what happened to me in the past happened. My past is what makes me who I am now.

Just now I was viewing our Fresh Meet 0'9 pics and our pics in high school, I can't help but notice how incomplete we are. Everyone is truly unique, no one can fill the shoes of the people I've shared my time with, whether good or bad. College is fun, yes, the people are fun and interesting, but they're not HS4. I already know I shouldn't seek for what's not there and learn to accept what is before me. The memory of it all is still fresh until now.

My craving to have the old times back is a temporary phase in which all fresh graduates feel. For us, we were like a family wherein we completed each other. We made each other whole. What lies ahead scares me and I can't face it alone. I know God has prepared a road for me and I just have to drive on it. There are moments where I want to take a U-turn and head back to where I feel the safest.

It feels like time I spent with HS4 was so short. It meant everything to me, even the nonsense stuffs, they added flavor to our stories. I'm confused T_T I'm happy with my decision to take Architecture because it's what I wanted but the pressure I feel is heavy and I need someone to lean on once in a awhile. For us, HS4, everyone would be lending their shoulders and always ready to catch you when you fall. SIGH. It's never gonna be the same. We said it ourselves. You said it yourself.

Just thinking about it gets me teary-eyed. The moment I see everyone again, I know, I will surely cry. If I see everyone even for just a day. I know others have got it worse than I am but this is how I really feel.

Reality.
...such a scary place to be...

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